


maybe if I told you the right words at the right time (you’d be mine)

by somniatoressinespe



Category: Runaways (Comics), Runaways (TV 2017)
Genre: F/F, a lot of pride kids dinamics in this one, enjoy, for once, pining!Nico, roadtrip au, we got s3 yall!!!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-19
Updated: 2019-04-19
Packaged: 2020-01-16 16:24:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18525232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/somniatoressinespe/pseuds/somniatoressinespe
Summary: “Let me get this straight,” she pauses as Alex giggles drunkly- which, okay it's adorable, but also it's stopped being funny after the first year of gay jokes- and waits for him to finish.“You want to put yourself- a computer geek- a jock, his girlfriend, his girlfriend's sister, a human Golden Retriever, and the resident Goth all in one car and drive through half of the USA for the 4th of July?”“Yeah.”She drains the bottle in her hand all in one go, “Okay.”or "they go on a roadtrip and nico spends half the time staring at karolina"





	maybe if I told you the right words at the right time (you’d be mine)

 

**Day 1:**

 

After the third wrong turn and the second time she bumps her head against the car window, Nico thinks that, maybe, in retrospective going on a two weeks long road trip with all of the Pride's kids wasn't the most brilliant idea they had ever had.

Only problem is, she should have maybe thought about this a bit earlier than the day of their departure on said trip, and said realization should have happened when Alex had came up with the idea in the first place and not while watching him and Chase argue about whether or not Chase knows how to use a GPS and if they should keep a tank of gas in the back, and other alpha male stuff, while Molly wrestled with the car radio.

And yet, here she is.

Her belongings thrown in a dufflebag, sitting on the back-seat of the vintage Volkswagen van Chase had rented for the trip, squished in-between the van door and Karolina- who's smiling, sunshine on her lips as always, head bopping to the tune coming from the stereo, and god, is she pretty- only on mile one of their trip from Chicago back to L.A. through Route 66 passing through any and every picturesque town Alex and Karolina had decided they just _had_ to visit on their trip. She rolls her neck and props her elbow to rest her head against the window again, sighing.

So yeah, this was not her most brilliant idea.

**

It all started one night, just before Alex moved out of the apartment and back to L.A.

Her and Alex sprawled on their couch in the apartment they share with Karolina- who's out with her _girlfriend_ , because she has one of those and isn’t pathetically single like Nico and Alex- with more than a few bottles of beer on the ground, more than a little on their way to drunk, and that's what she'll plead when asked about it.

“We should go on a road trip,” he says, suddenly sitting up straight, making Nico choke on her beer. 

“A road trip,” she manages to cough out.

“Yeah, like something fun, or something. I'm moving back and I want to go with a bang, you know?” he continues, slurring slightly, “Something cool. Like Route 66 or the West Coast or the East!”

“You want to go on a road trip.”

“Yeah.”

She sighs,  “When?”

“I don’t know... my birthday is too far away. What about the 4th of July?”

“Let me get this straight,” she pauses as Alex giggles drunkly- which, okay it's adorable, but also it's stopped being funny after the first year of gay jokes- and waits for him to finish.

“You want to put yourself- a computer geek- a jock, his girlfriend, his girlfriend's sister, a human Golden Retriever, and the resident Goth all in one car and drive through half of the USA for the 4th of July?”

“Yeah.”

She drains the bottle in her hand all in one go, “Okay.”

**

She hadn't thought much of the conversation until Alex called her a month after he moved out, asking if she could take a two weeks break from her job.

So, yeah.

That's how they end up here, after taking a four hour flight to get to Chicago, only to leave a day later to embark on what seems to be going to be the most excruciatingly long road trip of Nico's life. A road trip in close quarters with all of her oldest friends- one of whom is her _ex_ \- is far from what Nico would call a holiday, anyway.

More like a nightmare, actually.

It's not that she doesn’t love her friends, but they all have a tendency to get on each other nerves after prolonged periods of time spent in the same space. She's still surprised she, Karolina, and Alex had managed to live together for so long- well, more like her and Alex if she's being honest, Karolina is kind of the perfect flatmate- and she's blaming it on the fact they never saw each other in between college and work.

And it's not like they ever had the best of luck with “family” holidays together, anyway.

(Dubai, summer of 2016, comes to mind. It involved a gala, a pool, one incredibly wine drunk Tina Minoru and the shocking revelation that her father had been cheating on her mum with Chase's mum, so yeah that was one unforgettable trip.)

Also, she's really not crazy about the 1.5k and something miles she'll have to spend in such close quarters with Karolina.

Only that's not true.

But she wished it were- she wished she was a better person, a better friend- because the problem is, that she feels quite the opposite. The problem is that she might like it a bit too much, the problem is that she might like _her_ a bit too much, and that just can't happen. Not only because of Julie Perfect Power- and yes, she's pretty sure that's her actual middle name- who wouldn't like it very much, you know, as Karolina's _girlfriend,_ but also because of the fact Karolina would never love her back in the first place.

Nico turns her head to watch her, now singing along with Molly to the upbeat song screaming from the speakers way too loudly for eleven in the morning, but that just might be her opinion.

She has her back half turn away from Nico, her face lit up by the midday sun streaming through the passenger door window, then she turns smiling and happy, and takes her free hand trying to coax her into singing along too wiggling her eyebrows in ridicule fashion. A stray ray of sunshine hits her and her hair look like a burning halo and Nico suddenly finds it very hard to breathe, lungs filled with lead, because she is sunlight, sunlight, sunlight.

(How could she ever love her back, when she has never been anything else other than darkness?)

And it's in time like these, when Karolina reaches for her hands, or kisses her cheeks or her forehead with a fond smile, or they spend the night cuddling in front of terrible reality shows instead of going out... it's in time like these that she wonders how they aren't together.

How when they fit so perfectly together, how when she loves her so much it hurts to breathe, how when something happens the first person she wants to share it with, the only person she ever wants to share it with, it's Karolina, only Karolina, forever Karolina.

Then she remembers being sixteen and on a break from her relationship with Alex, and turning away from Karolina's smiling face, turning her down with harsh words, words she regrets so much now; and the reason is so obvious, because sometimes you don’t deserve a second chance, because sometimes you close a door and it's stuck forever. And it doesn’t matter if you were caught off guard, or that you were sixteen and didn’t know yet what you were turning down.

Doors don’t open again for idiots that shut them close so hard they may as well have nailed it shut.

Still, the irony of her situation isn’t lost on Nico- actually, the taste is bitter like copper in her mouth.

The van hits another pothole, her arm slips down and she's back to plotting Chase's murder all over again.

(If anything the view is pretty amazing.)

**

The first stop on their trip is Pontiac, because Karolina wanted to see the Route 66 Hall of Fame, and it had been established years ago that nobody could say no to a Karolina's pout. That's how she, Molly and Gert end up wandering through the old town buildings, searching for the murals Molly swears are all around town.

“Hey doesn't that look like Karolina?” Molly says, pointing to a huge graffiti of a girl lit in every colour of the rainbow, a gorgeous galaxy painted on her skin. It's stunning for sure, and taking the better part of the side of the red brick building, and yeah, it kinda looks like Karolina but she's not about to say this near Gert, not after how she's been looking at her lately.

“Uh. I don’t see it.” she says instead.

“She totally does.”

“Oh yeah, I do,” Gert chimes in, “Look, she's pretty, she glows, I bet she's a vegan too.”

Nico just hums non-committally in response, a smile on her lips as she watches Molly takes selfie after selfie near the giant painting.

“Speaking of Karolina, what are you going to do?” Gert continues, her voice doing that fake cheery tone that comes right when she's about to lecture someone. Her eyes are still on her, watching her every move like a hawk, or an eagle, or another bird with very sharp claws and a penchant to intrude in people's love lives.

“I don’t know what you're talking about.”

“I'm pretty sure you do.”

Molly comes back to where they're standing, taking in the tension between the two of them. She gulps.

“I... am going to go check that shop out,” she says and high-tails it out of the conversation, slipping into what looks like another of those terrible Route 66 gift shop, and Nico for once feels the need to follow her in the realm of shitty souvenirs and postcards.

“It's none of your business, Gert.”

“So, there is a business to be known.”

“Gert.”

“I'm just saying you have been awfully tense, and we both know you'll have to share a room tonight and the next and the next and so on, and I'm kind of worried to be honest, you've always been like terribly codependent, and Karolina is pretty oblivious, but--”

“I'm fine,” Nico interrupts her, but when Gert sends her the worst glare she's ever witnessed she amends, “I'll be fine.”

“Sure.”

They stare at each other, unmoving, and just as Gert opens her mouth again an arm comes to wrap around her shoulders. She breathes in the familiar scent of Karolina's perfume and she turns with a smile.

“How was the museum?”

“So awesome!” she's smiling so wide Nico wonders if it hurts her, “I don’t get why you didn’t want to come.”

“She's too busy brooding to have fun on this trip,” snarks Gert.

Nico glares blearily at her, but Karolina laughs. “Aw, don’t be mean Gert, she's just moody because we're doing such tourist-y stuff. Route 66 is not wiccan enough for her.”

She shoves Karolina's arm off of her, “Shut up.”

“Where's Molly by the way?”

Nico jerks her thumb pointing to a general direction of the shop behind her back. “In there.”

At that Karolina's eyes honest to god sparkle as she grabs her arm and physically drags her into the tourist trap.

_There go thirty minutes of your life you'll never get back._

**

When they finally manage to coax Karolina and Molly away from the tacky souvenirs, it's almost too late to make it to their lunch reservation. They do make it, but as Nico watches the building she wonders if it was worth it.

It looks like a cabin where people end up being murdered in every shitty horror b-movie ever made, all wood and straight out of the 60's, with leather seats' booths and plastic chairs and she really hopes she doesn’t die from food poisoning. Only it seems she's the only one to think that other than Alex. As the others sit in one of the booths, him and Nico share a look.

(God. She doesn’t like it when they agree.)

“So,” Molly says after their food arrives, as Nico is poking her her hamburger thoughtfully, mouth full of food, “Where to next?”

“Don't speak with an open mouth, Molly,” Gert scolds.

She swallows. “Sorry.”

“We're sleeping in Springfield, but anything from here to there goes, if we see something interesting we stop,” Karolina answers Molly, cutting through her pizza.

“That sounds very chill and not planned at all, who are you and what have you done with Karolina?” Alex teases her, shaking the bottle of ketchup in his hand so violently he almost hits Gert in the face with it. Gert glares at him a bit.

“I'm not that much of a control freak!” Karolina protests.

“You kinda are.”

“Nico!” Karolina betrayed face and outraged gasp makes them all crack in a laugh.

Molly swallows another big, painfully looking bite. “Can we go to the Funks Grove Pure Maple Syrup?”

“To where?”

“It's this place Klara told me about, it's an old maple syrup farm and you can buy stuff there, like candies and their syrup and t-shirts! And you can walk around in the woods and stuff. It's cool.”

“Oh well if _Klara_ suggested it, then...” Gert says, smirking from behind her glass.

“Shut up,” Molly grumbles, turning a deep shade of red.

“Who's Klara?” Karolina asks with barely concealed glee.

“Molly's girlfriend,” Gert quips again, lips curling further up when Molly turns even redder, the blush climbing all the way up to her ears.

“She's not!” she protests, then looks down with a frown, “I haven't asked her yet."

“That's so _cute_!” Karolina gushes, clapping her hands once delighted, “When can I meet her?”

“Get in line, I have to do my brotherly duties of shovel talks and threatening arm flexes.”

“You're not even my brother, Chase.”

Chase waves her off. “Brother-in-law. Same thing.”

Gert chokes on her water, coughing loudly. “We're not married!”

“You're saying you don’t want to marry me?” Chase says with a pout.

“I--” Gert flushes, “I didn’t say that.”

 _Revenge,_ Nico thinks, as she says, “I thought marriage was a contract, heteronormative and a patriarchal sham. Isn't it bending to 'society's expectations of women'?”

“Just because I'm with Chase doesn’t mean I'm not bi anymore, Nico, you should know that better than anyone, and maybe my view of marriage has changed since we were sixteen and--"

Nico just munches on one of Alex's fries with a smug look. Alex lifts the plate out of her reach. She would be a liar if she said she isn’t enjoying watching Gert getting redder and redder as she rants herself into an early grave.

Karolina puts a hand on the small of her back, stopping her from continuing to torture Gert, ever the pacifist. Nico pouts, and Karolina rolls her eyes, but plants a kiss on Nico's cheek in amends- she does _not_ blush at the act, and Alex is a liar for saying so.

“Anyway, I think it's wonderful you have someone you're interested in, Molly, and I think maple syrup sounds awesome.”

**

So they stop for maple syrup.

It's kind of cool actually.

The shade is a comfort for her pale complexion after all the sun her face is getting by wandering around in the desert, and the breeze cools down her skin, and watching Molly run around with Chase and Alex is more entertaining that she cares to admit.

It's quiet, save for their occasional shouts, and Nico is enjoying sitting under the shade of a huge maple tree. And what if the reason she's enjoying it so much is because of Karolina's head resting in her lap? Nico is not above lying to herself or others about it.

After what feels like several days- but probably were only a few hours- Karolina stirs in her lap and opens her eyes, and Nico stills her hand in her hair.

“Good morning, sunshine.”

“Hey,” Karolina smiles sleepily up at her, “Do you want me to move? You must be sore, how long was I out?”

“Not that much,” she lies, savouring the way Karolina shuts her eyes against the sunlight, sheltering from them by pressing her face in Nico's thigh.

“Where are the others?”

Nico looks up and finds that the guys aren’t longer running around with Molly, and she turns her head around to find them all also sprawled under a tree, Chase's head in Gert's lap in about the same fashion she and Karolina are standing in. Gert makes eye contact and winks. She rolls her eyes.

“Also out. But I think we'll have to go soon, if we ever want to get to Springfield by sundown.”

Karolina hums, shifting even closer. “Five more minutes.”

“Okay.”

**

When they finally make it to Springfield, it's already dark.

They check-in in their hotel, and they go out for dinner. The place is another Route 66 inspired diner, but the food is honest to god delicious. Not that they say anything about it other than wolfing it down before the place closes.

It's weird, Nico feels tired after the day of driving, a bone deep tiredness that's out of place, considering she had done none of the driving. As she looks at her friends, she notices they look about the same as she feels. Who knew a road trip could take so much out of you? Nico shudders at the thought that it's only the first day of their holiday that doesn’t feel like a holiday.

**

**Day 2:**

 

They see a bunch of rabbits, an old bridge on the Mississippi river, and an arch. Then they get lunch in another diner and go see a bunch of caves.

It's riveting, really.

Only there's Karolina excited eyes, and happy smile, and suddenly it's easier not to grumble, not to complain, not to care she's wasting part of her summer- and kind of all of her vacation time- running around with her childhood friends through half of the US. And okay, maybe she had missed spending so much time with them after they all spread out because of college; Gert and Chase going to San Francisco followed shortly after by Molly, Alex going back to L.A., while she and Karolina, somehow, had ended up in Seattle together, only meeting up at the obligatory Pride gala now and then.

They take turns driving, and arguing about the music- even if Molly always hogs the aux cord, even if they always let her- and exploring weird small towns on their way, and arguing some more, and it's... fine.

So, here's something nobody ever told her about road trips.

They get boring.

And people  tend to do stupid shit when they  get  bored.  Nico's stupid shit? Torturing herself with the sight of  Karolina.

Karolina laughing at Alex's stupid jokes, Karolina playing I-spy with Molly, Karolina stuck behind the wheel in traffic but still smiling like she's anything but, Karolina texting someone, probably her girlfriend, and smiling at whatever she gets back- and Nico, knowing she'll never have her, will never deserve her, but it's fine as long as she can have this.

She had always wondered when she had started to look at her with new eyes.

It's a game she plays with herself sometimes, trying to put together when Karolina shifted in her place in her heart, when she'd realized for the first time that oh, her best friend is beautiful, and, oh, she wants to kiss her.

For that, she can almost pinpoint a clear date, something near when they were both nineteen and single at the same time, and there was the matter of a drunken kiss they still pretend never happened- and it's not like it matters, because Karolina got together with Julie shortly after anyway.

She never comes up with a clear answer on when she had actually fallen in love with her.

She can only formulate theories about it- if it was when she had seen her for the first time when they were five, if it was when she told her for the first time she was her best friend, if when she had smiled and said she would follow Nico to whichever college she chose because she didn’t care, that she only wanted to stay close to her...

And she thinks about how, in some ways, sometimes you find yourself inside your own life and you have no idea how you got there; and about paths you don’t recognise you've taken until one day you find yourself falling in arms you had never thought about before.

(Only it's too late, and those arms are already wrapped around someone else and can't catch you.)

**

Gert: “For the love of-- can you change song? Please? It's been on loop for fifteen minutes!”

Molly: “It's ABBA!”

“Molly!”

“Okay!”

**

**Day 4:**

 

“It's a whale,” she says, puzzled.

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Does it matter?” Chase zooms by her, throwing his shirt on the ground as he goes flying into the water, “Cannon ball!” he calls out with the splash- she sees Alex get knocked over by the wave, and yeah, that's funny.

Nico turns to Gert. “How are you attracted to him again?”

“I-- he's great!”

Right then there's a scream, and Nico finds the source of it on top of the whale, and she sees Karolina just as she leaps off of it with Molly hot on her heels, diving with a somersault in the water. She resurface spluttering, long blonde hair cascading over her face and her arms stretched over her head, then lets out a big whoop as Molly joins her with another splash.

“You know, I could ask you the same question.”

Nico doesn’t even bother denying it, eyes trained on Karolina laughing in the water. “We're pretty hopeless, uh?”

“No,” Gert looks at where Chase is throwing Karolina over his shoulders and Alex is taking Molly on his and they start wrestling in the pond, “I'd say we're both pretty lucky. If you were to do anything about it, that's it.”

“She has a girlfriend,” she reminds Gert- reminds herself a bit, too.

“Does she? We both know that since Julie went away they've been having problems. Maybe it's your chance to stop pining after blonde, tall and cheerful over there.”

She rolls her eyes, “I don’t want to push this on her.”

Gert puts a hand on her chin, tapping her finger there twice, “You mean your feelings? Your probably not unrequited feelings? Those ones?”

“Shush. I don’t want to talk about those.”

“Well if you don’t do it someone else might swoop in and--”

“Please. Please don’t,” she interrupts her.

Gert lifts up her hands in surrender, “What? I didn’t say anything.”

Nico just rolls her eyes again and lifts her t-shirt over her head, joining the others in the chill of the water.

(Later, as they're drying in the sun, Nico almost wants to thank Alex for this trip, just for the beauty that is a bikini wearing Karolina napping under the sun.)

**

It's much, much later when they manage to arrive in Tulsa.

They're tanned- or sunburned in Nico's case- and exhausted from a day of running around in the water, and driving, and shouting every lyric of the songs they could remember- and even some of which they couldn’t, but who could call them out on it? Gert. Gert did. More than once- and they barely have the energy to eat their dinner before crashing in their hotel, and Nico just wants to sleep.

If only Nico could just fall asleep.

Unfortunately, she can't because she's too busy going into a bisexual panic at the sight of Karolina in her new pyjamas- a Route 66 grey t-shirt, oversized so that her underwear doesn’t show, but also oversized enough it slips from her shoulders and exposes a fair amount of _skin._

(Her neck, her shoulders- Nico never knew collarbones could be attractive until she fell for Karolina, really- and Nico is so, so _weak_.)

God, is it distracting rooming with Karo.

Not that she's an obnoxious roommate- she's as perfect a roommate as she is a flatmate, and it's much easier to steal Karolina's clothes when they're in the same room and she can fake not having realized that the clothes she's wearing aren't actually hers- it's just that everything she does make Nico's heart stop and head reeling. And now Nico is feeling borderline creepy as she watches her best friend sleep, her back turned away from her and her hair looking like spun silver and gold, lit only by moonlight.

She shuts her eyes hard, and lets out a sigh.

“Can't sleep either?”

She turns again and finds Karolina's eyes on her.

“No,” she whispers back.

Karolina looks to the clock on the bedside table, the time flashing 9.20 pm, considers it for a while before throwing the blankets off of her. “Want to sneak out?”

She smirks. “Who knew a few years of college would have made a rebel out of you, Dean.”

She can see Karolina's blush from where she is, can see her roll her eyes. “Shut up. Come on, don’t you want to have an adventure?”

“With you? Always.”

This earns her another blush, and Nico doesn’t know why.

They dress in silence and in the dark, putting on their clothes with their back to each other, Nico's eyes trained on the floor the whole time. She steals one of Karolina's big, comfy sweaters, laces up her boots and she's ready to go. As she closes their door behind her, Karolina's puts her index to her lips, and gestures for her to stay put as she sneaks into the boys' room, when she gets out she jingles the van keys.

As they make their way to the hotel garage, Nico asks, “Where are we going anyway? Are we running away together?”

“Oh, yes. We're leaving our friends stranded and running away to Nevada to grow apple trees and make hard cider. We'll have a dog, and two cats.”

“That's devious even for you, Dean,” Karolina laughs, “Okay, but for real, where are we going that we need the van?”

“I thought you liked surprises.”

“You're joking, right? When was that ever a thing?”

Karolina just opens the passenger's door for her with a flourish and a conspirational wink. “Don’t you trust me?”

Nico gets inside the car without another word.

Twenty minutes later they're parked in a drive-in, radio on the cinema's frequency, with a bowl of large popcorn and a root beer in-between them, and an old black and white movie playing through the speakers.

“Where did you find this place anyway?” she asks as she pops a kernel in her mouth.

“Julie suggested it.”

She promptly chokes on the pop corn, reality hitting her in the face like a truck- they're not on a date, they're not on a date, _they're_ _not on a date_.

“Oh, cool,” she turns away and looks to the screen- what is it about rainstorms that inspires people to declare their love underneath one?- and clears her throat, takes a sip of her root beer, tries to sound at least a bit happy for her friend as she asks, “How's that going, by the way?”

It's Karolina's turn to look away, focusing on the screen and shrugging her shoulders, tugging at her sweater's sleeves. “It's-- it's not going, actually. We broke up, like, three weeks ago.”

_What's the proper response when your crush tells you they broke up with their girlfriend?_

“That's... rough,” she flinches at her not at all contrite tone, “How come?”

“It's fine, it was a long time coming. It was hard with her being in New York and...” Karolina makes a large weeping gesture with her hand, “And everything else.”

“If you need to talk or anything...”

“Thank you Nico.”

“Always.”

After that, if Nico forgets that she's supposed to watch the screen, and not experience the movie only through Karolina's facial expressions, who can judge her, in this small town's drive-in, but herself? And she has made her peace with it.

**

**Day 4.5:**

 

After the movie, Karolina brings her to a waffle house nearby.

It feels like when they would escape campus when they were freshmen and couldn’t stand to be at frat parties any longer, and it was just her and Karolina and a couple of milkshakes and fries to share. Then she and Alex got back together, and Karolina found Xavin, and somewhere in between they stopped. Nico would be lying if she said she hadn't missed this, her and Karolina and the million possibilities of the night.

**

**Day 5:**

 

That's how they end up barely awake the next morning, having slept what had felt like only an hour as Gert came into their room to wake them at an ungodly hour- and it was worth it all, it was worth the bags under her eyes, so dark she couldn’t cover even with concealer, and the curious glances from Gert, and the judging look in Alex's eyes. Karolina was always worth it.

“Why do you two look dead on your feet? We went to sleep so early,” Chase asks, looking up from where he's crouching with his head half way down his bag. “And did someone see the keys? I cant find them anywhere.”

“It's eight am why are we even awake should be the real question. Wasn't this supposed to be a vacation? Oh,” Nico remembers, and reaches into her- well, actually Karolina's- dark blue bomber jacket pockets, and jiggles the keys in her hand, “Here.”

“I thought we were exploring Tulsa today?” says Karolina, barely stifling a yawn.

“Tulsa sucks, we're blowing this popsicle stand,” Gert answers, looking at Nico like she can see right through their innocent act, “Why did you have the keys?”

“I'm a klepto.”

Molly snorts and offers her a fist bump. She hits it.

“Alright. Moving on. Who wants to drive?” Alex asks, opening the van driver's door with a flourish.

“Oh, can I?” Molly jumps up excitedly.

“Sure,” Nico tosses her the keys, “Just don’t crash, you're technically not allowed to drive it.”

Molly smiles and zooms to the driver's side of the car, “Cool.”

They put their bags in the back, Gert slipping in the front passenger's seat, while Alex and Chase take the middle row, so what's left for herself and Karolina is the last two seats. As soon as the van starts moving, Nico is lulled back to sleep.

It's some something and an hour later, when a hand softly shakes her awake, and she finds that she had migrated towards Karolina in her sleep, her head resting on her shoulders, her arms around her midriff, her body fully pressed in her side.

She shifts groggily, rubs the sleep out of her eyes, “Where are we? Are we stopping?”

“No, well yes, we're in Stroud,” Karolina answers her softly, brushing away some of Nico's hair that got out of her high ponytail and into her face, “But just for breakfast. Or like very early lunch. Let's go with brunch.”

“Okay,” she yawns, as she stirs and gets out of the car.

“Hey there, Sleeping Beauty.”

“Shut up, Wilder.”

“You have a little...” he gestures to the corner of her mouth.

She wipes at it hastily, trying to look at her reflection in the van's window, stops when she hears him laugh. “Fuck you.”

“It was funny.”

“It really wasn't.”

“A little funny.”

She rolls her eyes, punching him in the shoulder. “Whatever.”

“Hey, joking aside,” he stops her with a hand on her arm, letting the others go ahead of them, “Be careful with Karolina.”

She narrows her eyes. “What are you talking about?”

“Staying out late with Karolina, cuddling up with her, you know how she felt-- just be careful, yeah?”

It's sweet, she supposes, that he's worried. Even if the object of his worry is slightly misplaced considering she's the one pining after her best friend and possibly on her way to getting burned, and not the other way around.

“I think that if you paid more attention to the situation, you'd see how wrong you are about this.”

“Nico. I'm serious.”

“So am I. And I really don’t see how this involves you, Wilder.”

“It involves me because she's my friend too, and I don’t like it when my friends are toyed with.”

“Oh, like I did with you, Alex? Stop making me the villain of your story and fuck off.”

“That's not what--”

“Isn't it?”

Alex just sighs, he's known her for enough time to know when to drop a subject. “Come on, they're leaving us behind.”

**

As Nico finds herself standing in front of another 60's type of diner, she thinks she's starting to sense a theme around their last and probably future meals.

(She'll never be able to eat from a diner ever again after this, if they keep at it.)

They order their food, and eat slowly, Nico still sleepy and leaning hard in Karolina's side- if she glares at Alex while doing so, it's nobody's business but hers.

“So, after this we can wander a bit around town, and then meet at the car at like eleven, so that we can head back on the road earlish, that good?” Gert says, standing up from their booth leaving some cash on the table.

“Sure,” Nico shrugs her shoulders tiredly, “Go have fun making out with your boyfriend on historical landmarks.”

“I will, thank you very much.”

Molly shakes her head watching her sister making her way outside of the diner, dragging Chase by his arm. “I want to see the shoe tree. Who wants to come?”

“I want to sleep,” Nico mutters under her breath, burying herself even more into Karolina's side.

“Stop being a grumpy cat.”

“Bite me, Wilder,” she says, and if it's a little harsher than usual she doesn't care- she hadn't appreciated his little intervention before, and he has to grovel a lot before he can joke around with her again. Only problem is Karolina looks at her curiously at her remark, and she's suddenly aware she had may have let on more than she wanted.

“I'm tired too,” Karolina yawns, stretching her arms over her head, arching her back just so, and showing a sliver of sun-kissed stomach and Nico suddenly doesn’t feel so tired anymore, “Give me the keys, Molls. We'll go nap in the car.”

“Alright, but you're wasting a one in a time opportunity of witnessing the beauty of shoes dangling from a tree.”

Nico rolls her eyes, “I think we'll live, Wilder. See you later.”

They wave at Molly and Alex- who gives her a side eyed, loaded look, the prick- and turn to walk back to the van.

“You know, maybe staying to that diner all night long may have not been our best idea.”

“You think?”

Karolina hip checks her with a smile. “C'mon, wasn't it worth it?”

Nico smiles back. “Yeah it was, but maybe next time we don’t give a key of our room to Gert.”

“Yeah, I think she shouted extra loud just for you. But it's cute that you think a door can stop her,” Karolina chuckles.

Nico shakes her head and opens the van's door. “After you.”

Karolina rolls her eyes, but passes by her arm, climbing on the backseat. She climbs in after her, reaching for her open arms- and okay, she knows where Alex is coming from, he does know Karolina had feelings for her and she knows how this- them- could look from a stranger point of view, but he doesn’t know _Nico's_ feelings, doesn’t know she had only hurt Karolina once and doesn’t intend on doing it ever again if she can help it.

After a while, Karolina shifts slightly. “Hey is everything alright with Alex?”

Nico shakes her head, bits her lips. “Yeah, why you ask?”

“You seemed a bit... tense, is all.”

“It's nothing, don’t worry.”

She slips into sleep, Karolina's arms around her and surrounded by her warmth.

**

Molly: “Look! There's a wax museum!”

Nico: “No.”

“But--”

“No.”

**

**Day 8:**

 

Alex has been staring at her for the last thirty minutes.

Either he's fallen asleep with his eyes open- and she doesn’t put it behind his abilities, nobody could be that engrossed in Mrs Peters' lessons, no matter how much of a goody two shoes he actually was in high school- or he's finally put together what's happening between her and Karolina.

She hopes it's the latter, so that maybe he can explain it to her as well- because she's starting to wonder, too, if Karolina's actions have been more... planned as of late, more calculated, or if she's just projecting like always- she probably is, but what do they say about hope and its irritating ability of staying alive no matter how much she starves it with her cynicism and common sense?

They stop in Santa Fe because Gert is, and she quotes, 'fucking tired of looking at desert and sand and rocks, and will kill everyone in this van if Karolina plays Tracy Chapman another time.' And Nico kinds of agree with her.

(On the desert part, at least, because she has found that listening to Tracy Chapman while driving fucking _slaps_. Oh no. Is she becoming a dad-music listener like Karolina? Is this her fate? Nobody told her that falling in love with someone meant trading music tastes. A Goth Karolina would be a sight to see, though.)

Nico feels Alex staring at her throughout the whole museum.

She wonders what had tipped him off, if she was really as transparent with her feelings as Gert and sometimes Chase make her feel, or worse, if she's so obvious that Karolina, too, can notice it, has noticed it but doesn’t know how to approach her about it.

What's worse is that she knows Gert knows what's up between her and Alex- and she, honest to god, scares Nico with her ability to read any and every iteraction between any of them, and knowing exactly what's going on at any given time- and she has noticed Karolina looking at them funny, too, so she knows that something is up.

When Alex decides to drive the rest of the way, she can only be thankful to not be under his scrutiny anymore.

“Hey, there's a zoo in Albuquerque!” Molly says almost an hour later, pointing at a big green sign by the side of the road.

“Aren't we already going to the San Diego one?”

“Not all zoos are the same Nico, this one has wolves!”

“So?”

Karolina slaps her arm lightly, “Don't listen to her, Molly, we can totally stop." 

“Yeah, just tell me when to exit,” Alex says from behind the wheel, “I love zebras.”

She hears Chase's snicker behind her and then the tell tale sound of a slap against naked skin, and she lets out a snicker of her own.

**

Okay, she has to admit it.

Wolves are pretty cool.

Much better than the flamingos they had passed on their way there, or the howler monkeys- whose name is very spot-on, really, she doesn’t think she'll ever gain back her hearing from her left ear.

And if there is the added bonus of a laughing Molly and a smiling Karolina, Nico can't do anything about it but comply. It's unfair, really. How is she supposed to keep her devil-may-care attitude when Karolina looks so cute gushing over small mammals?

She had never liked goats in her life, but she would buy one and would let it stay in their apartment in a heartbeat, if it made Karolina smile this big every day.

They stay in the pet zoo part of the zoo for so long, their friends kind of abandon them there. When the zoo is about to close, she receives a text from Alex telling her to go to the souvenir shop, and she's already dreading whatever kind of conversation they're about to have. Only when they get there, Alex isn't alone, and he has something in his hand.

They have water guns.

Where did they find water guns? More importantly, why does Chase's smirk make shivers creep under her skin? Oh, but she knows why. It's because she already knows where this is going, and she does not like it one bit.

Her brain catches up with her gut, her eyes slowly widening, and just like that she' taking Karolina's hand in hers and fleeing away like a bird the moment before the storm hits.

That's how they keep running, losing themselves in a maze of left and right turns, never really shaking their friends off. She sees a mom with her kids wrinkling her nose at their screams, and she sticks out her tongue in her general direction, too preoccupied with running for her life to be accurate with her aim- also for the safety of her leather jacket, and Karolina's white t-shirt which is already on the better side of transparent dry, and she doesn’t want to start to think about what it could show when wet.

They end up in a dead-end alley in the African section, Karolina pressed against her front, heaving and panting and trying to shake off her laughter, trying to be quiet as Chase and Alex pass in front of their hiding spot, searching around for them. Karolina lets out a loud snicker, and she pushes her hand over her mouth with a shush.

She notes how close Karolina is, then.

She finds herself suddenly both incredibly thankful and incredibly annoyed that that morning she had decided to wear her platform boots and Karolina the flattest sneakers, because she doesn’t know how she would have restrained herself if her face was anywhere near Karolina's breasts.

Actually she doesn’t know how she's managing now, her face less than an inch away from Karolina's lips.

(Karolina's lips. Where her fingers are resting right now.)

She takes her hand off Karolina's mouth as if she had been burned.

“Think we shook them off?” Karolina asks secretive and quiet, obviously oblivious to Nico's internal plight.

“I--” she croaks out, clears her throat looking away from Karolina's pink, pink lips, “I don’t know, but I really don’t want to try and find out.”

“Fair,” Karolina looks down at her, and she can see the exact moment Karolina becomes aware of their position, but she does nothing to disentangle herself from it, and Nico doesn’t know what to make of it. She doesn’t know what to make of a lot of things that Karolina does, much more so lately, and it's starting to get annoying.

Then, Karolina's eyes slip down to her lips from her eyes quickly, there and back in less than a second, but Nico catches it.

Her chest starts heaving for a new reason other than their running, mouth falling open slightly in search for oxygen. Karolina looks at her mouth again, and just as she thinks she's about to do something- pull away from her, or speak out, or hopefully kiss her- a loud siren rings out, informing the visitors the zoo is closing.

Nico jumps back. Her voice comes out shaken and broken at her first try to summon it, she clears her throat and tries again. “We... we should probably--”

She can't read Karolina's face at all. It's bare of its usual kind smile, replaced by a carefully blank look, as she pushes back from the wall where Nico trapped her.

“Yeah. Yeah, let's go.”

(She doesn’t know whether to feel remorseful or thankful for the interruption.)

**

Unfortunately, Nico was right, and Alex did want to talk to her.

“So...” he starts.

“You wanted to apologize?”

He rubs the back of his neck, like he does when he's particularly nervous or apologetic about something- for his sake, it better be the latter. “I-- I may have been rash the other day.”

He continues talking before she can decide whether or not she's going to dignify his apology with an answer, which would have gone something along the lines of _fuck you_ , if she's being honest- or something more colourful, she likes to surprise herself.

“I'm sorry. I didn’t mean what I said.”

“I know.”

“You love her, don't you?”

Nico looks away and that seems to be the only answer Alex needs, because he continues with a sad smile. “I just-- I care about you Nico, but you can be sort of rash in your actions, too. I don’t want to see neither of you get hurt.”

“Don't worry about it, because I'm not going to do anything. She's moved on and so will I.”

“Has she?”

“Alex,” she warns.

“I just mean... let's be real, me and you? We've never had a chance. It's always been you and Karolina against the world, and maybe once upon a time I thought I could fit in between you two, find a space for our relationship, but I was stupid.”

“Maybe then, not now. Not after how I rejected her.”

“How do you know? Have you asked her?”

“No, and I won't.”

Alex opens his mouth, then closes it at Nico's glare. “Okay. We good, right?”

“Yeah, Wilder.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

He takes a few steps, stops to look at her again with a smile. “You know, I kinda ship you two now.”

“Shut up.”

Alex laughs and Nico punches his shoulder as hard as she can.

**

Molly: “We should go dancing.”

Nico: “We really shouldn't.”

Alex: “Yeah, I don’t dance. A little light flossing, maybe, but nothing in public.”

Nico: “So you floss in private?”

**

**Day 9:**

 

She shuffles her black sneakers in the dirt, until the top of it turns white. The sun is high in the sky, and Nico has never regretted her choice in clothing more than in this moment. Maybe all-black Goth can be a winter statement, but certainly not a summer of Arizona one. She fans herself with her hand struggling to get air, stopping under the shade of a tree.

“Why are we doing this again?” she asks, gravel in her voice.

“Because Karolina wanted to.”

Nico hums, splashes the water Alex offers her on her head, and starts walking again.

“Whipped,” Chase fake coughs in his hand.

“Excuse me?” she bristles, turning to him with her arms crossed.

“You looked like you were about to murder whoever suggested it until I told you it was Karo's idea, talk about whipped,” he continues, apparently lacking any sense of self preservation in that big jock brain of his.

She's one second from tearing him apart limb to limb for getting into business he had no business with, when Alex grabs him by the arm and drags him away, shooting Nico a quick smile before dragging Chase away from Nico's wrath.

Gert walks up to her. “Please refrain from killing my boyfriend. It'd put a damper on the whole trip thing.” 

“I will do no such thing. It's annoying. You're rubbing off on him, he's starting to meddle just like you do.”

 "I know,” she wiggles her eyebrows and Nico pretends to puke as she laughs. “In all seriousness though, I'm kind of scared. A week ago I found him watching a documentary on rape culture, and then another time he quoted Patricia Lockwood at me. What's next, Maya Angelou?”

 “As long as you don’t start to speak in lacrosse metaphors I think we're good.”

 Gert grimaces. “Shoot me if that ever happens.”

 Nico laughs and picks up the pace, leaving Gert behind, until she makes it to Karolina, who's leading the group with broad strokes and a long branch- courtesy of Molly- in her hands. As soon as she does reach her, Karolina takes her hand with a wide smile.

(She wonders what will get her first, if the heatstroke or Karolina's hand in hers.)

 **

Karolina: “We're so not sleeping in a camp ground.”

Chase: “But--”

“We have a perfectly fine hotel room, with a perfectly fine bed. Don’t even start it, Chase.”

“I thought you were a lesbian, where is a butch when you need her... Karolina! Put that club down, I'm sorry! I was kidding!”

 **

Gert hands her the keys to their room with a wink, and Nico is too tired to even try and guess why, that is until she actually gets to their room. If Gert doesn’t stop it with the surprises and the interfering sometime soon, she will strangle her in her sleep. She puts her bag down near the bed. 

The bed, as in a bed. As in one bed. As in singular.

“There's only one bed here,” Nico points out, with the subtlety of an elephant in a crystal shop, but in her defence she's almost a hundred percent sure she's about to have an aneurysm from the thought of sleeping next to Karolina.

“Uh?” Karolina tilts her head with a confused frown, clearly not seeing the problem with their rooming situation, “Gert must have confused the rooms. Still, we can share, I mean, we shared before.”

Nico considers it with a slight frown, “We were kids, then. We aren’t kids now.”

“I--” Karolina looks away from the bed with a frown, “I can take the couch if it'd make you more comfortable?” Karolina suggests, and Nico knows what she's thinking, and she wants to shut it down as quickly as possible, wants to shoot whoever made Karolina ever second guess her actions because of her sexuality.

“No!” she rushes out, “It's not that. We can share. I'm sorry I was weird, I'm just tired from all the walking.”

Karolina smiles brightly again. “Okay, then. It'll be just like one of our old sleepovers!”

Nico smiles back, her insides slowly deteriorating into a puddle of anticipation and dread.

_What the hell did you get yourself into, Minoru?_

They get ready for bed, and it's awfully domestic. They brush their teeth, wipe off their make-up, let down their hair, all side by side.

She sits on the bed, letting herself imagine this is her normal- her and Karolina in a hotel room with only one bed, but it's planned that way. They're together because when she was sixteen Nico did something good and kissed Karolina back, and they're taking a vacation together, a break from the city, and they love each other. She lets herself fall down on her back, smiling sadly up at the ceiling.

“It's easy to regret what you didn’t do,” she muses out loud.

“I guess,” Karolina shrugs with one shoulder from where she's bent in search over her suitcase, “The only thing you can really do is move on, though.” 

“And you do?” It's loaded, more of a statement than the question she had wanted to ask since she was nineteen and unbelievably jealous of any and all of Karolina's new college friends, of her then-girlfriend, even of Gert once. 

 _Have you moved on?_ she wants to ask, _Have you moved on from me?_

But she had never asked because she knew that she knew the answer already, and that's exactly what Karolina does end up saying. 

“Yeah,” she says, shrugging again, letting out an exclamation of triumph when she finds her brush, lifting it over her head like a trophy. “It's not like I can do anything about what has happened to me, I can learn from it, though, and move on. I can't live in the past.”

 Nico's heart cracks a bit more in her chest.

 Oh,” she turns her back to her, squeezes her eyes shut, because she will not cry, “Goodnight.”

 Goodnight.”

Later she feels the bed shift, and like a satellite she gravitates towards Karolina's open arms. Karolina sighs contentedly against Nico's neck, and yeah, coming to this trip was not the best idea for her self control. She sinks against Karolina and tries not to hope, as she slips in a dreamless sleep.

**

**Day 11:**

 

She has been driving for the past two hours in the scorching heat. 

The steering wheel fire against her fingers, and the AC not doing wonders to cool down her red cheeks, and for the first time since the trip started, she's almost wishing for one of her friends to point out some stupid road sign for the biggest yarn ball, or smallest matchstick, or anything that could give her solace from driving in the Arizona desert for one more minute.

And when Molly points out a sign for a historical small town, she could almost kiss her- only not, because she's like her little sister, and that'd be weird. 

Later, after she has wandered the town with Karolina for a bit, and abandoning her in _another_ souvenir shop- she's a little worried Karolina may have contracted an addiction to tacky souvenirs- she finds Chase standing in front of a tattoo shop, stuffing his face with doughnuts. As she comes closer, he offers her the bag. She takes one with a thanks.

“Please tell me you're not actually considering having a Route 66 themed tattoo.”

Chase's grinning face falls into a pout. “Why not?”

“Gert will divorce you, I hope you know that.”

“Nah, she won't. Haven't you heard? We're in _love_ ,” he singsongs.

She rolls her eyes, takes another doughnut from his bag. “Oh yeah, I have heard. You guys won't shut up about it.”

Chase lights up in a smile, all dimples and peach fuzz. It makes Nico want to smile back, so she does. “Well it seems only fair to be loud about it, after what we had to go through to get together,” he says after a while, “You could try it sometimes. Being loud about your feelings.”

Nico looks to the side, avoiding his scrutinizing gaze. “I-- I'm not good with feelings. Like. Generally having them. Or talking about them.”

“Yeah, we noticed,” he deadpans.

“Thanks, Stein.”

“Any time, Minoru,” he smirks, then he scratches at his chin, doing his best impression of a responsible young man. “But hey, I heard talking is a good starting point for an honest relationship. Might bring you somewhere, you never know.”

“Yeah. Does Gert know you're stealing her job as the group matchmaker?”

He turns away from the shop, putting his hand over her shoulder and squeezing slightly. “You two deserve to be happy together, don’t give up on her yet.”

She watches him leave, and she hates that her mind concocts one terrifying thought- _what if she gives up on me?_

_**_

Karolina stops her as she's climbing on the driver's side again. “How about I drive?”

“You've driven all of yesterday, you must be tired. It's my turn,” she goes to open the door, but Karolina puts her arm against it.

“Yeah, but the sun has been on the driver's side all morning. Let me.”

She tries to open the door again, but it doesn’t bulge against Karolina's way more muscular arm- damn you, yoga classes Nico always gets invited to but never attends- and she sighs in frustration. Karolina smirks, a smug little curl on her lips. Nico sighs again and slips in the passenger's side, and she watches Karolina get behind the steering wheel, all long legs and tanned shoulders. Her heart skips a beat. She brings her sunglasses further up her nose, hiding her eyes from view, hiding the fact she was just checking out her best friend.

(She knows she was caught in the act when Alex stares at her for a bit, before winking.)

As soon as Karolina steps in she cranks the music higher, smiling as another country sounding song Nico doesn’t know blasts from the speakers and then starts to sing along.

Nico smirks, “Who knew Karolina Dean liked country music...”

“It's the Eagles! You can't not like the Eagles.”

“Are those the ones of the hotel thingy?”

Karolina's hand stops mid motion from where she was putting on her seatbelt.

“The hotel thingy?” she turns her head slowly, staring at Nico until she sees the shit eating smirk on her face, “You little shit! You scared me half to death, I was ready to leave you here.”

“You wouldn't.”

“Yeah?”

“We both know it's all empty threats with you, Dean.” she says defiantly, crossing one arm and laying her chin on the other.

“Try me.”

“Can you two stop flirting for one minute and start driving? We're way behind schedule,” Gert says without even looking at them.

Karolina starts to splutter, and fires the ignition, while Alex snickered in the back. Nico turns in her seat and glares harshly at him until he stops, gulping. She turns back towards the road with a smirk. It's good to know she still got it.

Karolina merges into the highway with a huff.

After establishing that there was nobody on the road with them, Nico pulls her feet under her body, lying against the passenger's door her head against the cool glass. She's fully planning in staring at Karolina for the duration of the ride, safe behind the protection of her sunglasses, but after being subjected to Chase's knowing smirk in the rearview mirror a totality of three times, she just closes her eyes.

She's on the edge of sleep, drowsy from the sun warmth and the soft sound of the radio cracking in and out strangely sleep inducing.

She starts to doze off, when another song comes up, and Karolina starts singing again, softly this time, her voice slowing down to a country drawl that sends shivers down Nico's back, arms- who knew that a southern drawl was what did it for her? She adds it to the list of revelations Karolina had made her have about herself, right next to 'liking girls' and 'collarbones'.

“God, you're pretty.”

 _Did she say that aloud? With actual words, aloud and sent it to the heavens?_ Karolina is blushing and looking intently at the road, so the answer must be yes. Thankfully, she's saved from her own words when Molly grumbles about how she's hungry, then Chase joins in, leading the whole group to stop at the first gas station they find to get snacks.

She's not lucky for long.

She's browsing through the aisle, kneeling in front of the stand of cookies with the pretence of being very concerned for Molly's sugar intake. She knows she's not fooling anyone, but she likes to pretend she's a good actress.

“You said I was pretty.”

“I--” she hesitates, “I did, yeah.”

“Why?” 

She shakes her head, standing up until she's mostly to Karolina's eye level- she's short, Karolina's tall, get on with the program- the truths piling up on the tip of her tongue and begging to be let free. She smiles thinly, shakes her head again. “Because you are. Has there to be a reason?”

Karolina gets quiet, and just as Nico thinks she'll never get her answer, she speaks out. “I don’t know.”

Neither does she.

**

Karolina: “What do you think, Alex?”

Silence. 

Gert: “Alex?”

“Oh my god. We left Alex at the station!”

 ** 

**Day** **12** **:**

 

“You know Europeans do the same things on trains, it's called interrrail. It's much more eco-friendly than splurging on a month long gas sucking trip. And you get to see other countries instead of desert for miles and miles.” 

“It's two weeks at best, Gert. Stop sucking up all the fun out of this and we'll be fine,” Chase huffs.

“I'm just saying, this thing is sucking up a lot of gas money and not doing wonders for the environment."

“I don’t think we're single handily destroying our planet with one road trip, Gert,” Nico says.

 “Can everyone stop saying sucking?” Molly grumbles from where she's laying on half of Gert, sleep laced in her voice.

 "Why do they always have to bicker? We all know they're in love, they're not fooling anyone,” she whispers to Karolina.

 “I think it's sweet,” she whispers back.

 “Well, we have gas and we're on this road trip, so there's that,” Chase says with an ending tone to his voice.

They lapse into silence. And then the van splutters, crawls another few inches and promptly dies. 

Yeah, coming on this trip was not a brilliant idea.

“Oops.” 

“What do you mean ops, Chase?” Alex asks sitting up, calmer than how Nico would have said it, calmer than how Nico feels. 

“I may... have forgotten to get gas.”

“What do you mean forgot? We stopped at the gas station twenty minutes ago!” 

Chase pauses again. “I may have been distracted.”

Nico makes a face. “Please, tell me we're not stranded in the middle of nowhere because you were too busy making out with Gert in a gas station's bathroom to actually get gas.”

The dead silence that follows her statement makes it very clear of what had truly happened at the gas station. Karolina makes a sound of disgust from the back of her throat. Nico can't help but agree.

“This is why I wanted to keep a tank of gas in the van,” Chase grumbles.

“Are you serious right now?” Alex and Nico shout together.

“Shh. You'll wake up Molly.” Gert shushes them, her cheeks are kinda red so at least one of them still knows how to feel _some_ shame.

They turn to look at Molly sleeping, head tucked under Gert's chin, quietening down in a second. They all know better than to wake Molly up.

“Ok, everyone calm down,” Karolina puts her hands up, “It's fine, we're only like less than a mile from the station anyway, and it's not even that dark yet. I'll walk back and get us some gas.” 

“I'll come with you.”

Karolina smiles, leaving a kiss to her cheek in thanks, and Nico can feel the spot bursting into flames- she just hopes it's dark enough outside not to notice, but by Molly's smirk she doubts it is- great now she's giving her grief, too. 

They climb out of the van quickly, take the tank from out back, and start walking.

It's a few minutes later when Karolina speaks up, “Hey, it could be worse--”

She looks up at the crystal clear night sky, “Don't you dare say it could rain, I know we're currently in a draught and everything, but let's be real, cosmic luck is not on our side today.”

Karolina snorts. “You really are superstitious, uh?”

“I'm not! I just know not to try my luck. It's never been the best.”

“I don’t know,” she hums, “I'd say we're pretty lucky.”

“We're walking, like, half a mile and back because we're out of petrol. In the dark.”

“Yeah,” Karolina turns to her, and she's so laid-back and bright for someone who's currently walking down a dim lit highway with an empty tank in her hands, that for one moment Nico doubts she's actually real- after all, she'd always been a bit too good to be true. “But I'm with you.”

“Oh.” Her cheeks heat up, and this time she knows Karolina notices it, but she doesn’t say anything and Nico doesn’t try to make up any excuse, and they keep walking through the desert of Arizona.

(It's honestly unfair what a passing comment from Karolina can do to her.)

When they arrive at the station, the guy behind the counter laughs when they explain their situation- a pretty boyish laugh, and Nico could have even found him attractive, if she wasn't so caught up in Karolina as of lately- and insists to help them out himself.

He takes off his sweatshirt, leaving himself in only a white wife-beater, eyeing Karolina during the whole process. Nico is kinda waiting for him to start unnecessarily flexing to flaunt his muscle, and she can't help to smirk when his every attempt to meet Karolina's eye turns flat.

God bless Karolina's lesbian unawareness.

It's amusing, how she can never understand when someone is flirting with her- frustrating, too, so terribly frustrating when everytime she tries to pay her a compliment she just brush it off with a smile- but it's fucking hilarious when it's a guy who's trying the flirting. Like now.

“So, are you two doing this trip alone?” he says, flashing a dimply smile and pressing down on the nozzle with more force than needed.

“Oh no, it was our friend's idea,” Karolina answers politely, church smile plastered on like a band aid, her eyes drifting from one end of the station to the other obviously bored by the conversation but too polite to say anything about it. Nico leans on the gas pump, enjoying the show- she has half a mid to go and buy some popcorn, but she doesn’t want to miss a second of this guy's efforts.

“Is she as pretty as you?” he tries again, this time with a wink.

“Well, I guess he's handsome, if you're into that.”

The guy's hand skirts so hard he almost knocks over the tank. “I'm not! Into that, I mean.”

Karolina shrugs, and Nico barely manages to hold her laugh back as he struggles to keep the flirting going.

Fortunately for him, the guy decides to shut up after the third flat look from Karolina, and when Nico hands him their money she just can't help herself as she says with a smirk what she's been thinking for the past fifteen minutes.

“Wrong tree, buddy.”

He blushes the same colour as the gas tank and she finally lets out her laugh.

**

Nico appreciates one thing about this trip- like truly, deeply treasures- and that thing is how comfy a bed can appear after having spent the whole day cooped up in a small space with five other human beings.

As Karolina goes in the bathroom to shower, she lets herself sink into the mattress.

(She tries to not think about Karolina showering- _naked_ \- just a room over. It doesn’t work.)

Then a slam of a door, and a voice interrupting Nico's true calling in life, “What are you doing on your bed? We're going dancing!”

Nico lifts her head from where it's smashed against a pillow, “What?” she mumbles.

“Didn't Chase tell you? We're going to this cool pub! He said he'll even buy me a drink!”

“Did he now?” she mumbles this time burying her head in the pillow again, contemplating the possibility of becoming one with the bed and not going out.

“Yeah!” Molly jumps in her bed, the bounce of the mattress almost sending her flying to the floor, she lifts her head up again only to glare blearily at her, “So get into a dress or something because we're going in thirty.”

Karolina comes out of the bathroom- wrapped in a _tiny,_ towel, mist following her, and Nico pushes her face further inside her pillow, face aflame, she's so _weak_ \- as she towels her hair, “Going where?”

“Out! Come on! Get ready!” is the last thing she hears before Molly slams the door shut.

“So...” Karolina drawls out as she sits on Nico's bed, “We're going out.”

“No.”

“Nico.”

“No.”

“If you don’t come, who's gonna save me from my early demise cause by alcohol and bad decisions?”

“Gert.”

“She'll be to busy making out with Chase, and you know that,” Karolina grabs her arm, giving it a slight tug, “Come on. Out of the bed you go.”

Nico sighs. “Fiiiine.”

She groans, pushes herself out of bed and into the bathroom- avoiding looking at Karolina the whole way, because she's not that much of a masochist.

**

The pub is loud, smelly, and very dark.

Nico really doesn’t like it, and she had managed to loose all of her friends in the span of twenty minutes. She's looking for them, but the only one she manages to find are Gert and Chase making out on a couch, and Alex flirting with a girl, so she's right about to give up when she spots Karolina's unmistakable mane of hair from behind. She makes her way to her, dodging the mass of drunk, dancing people.

When Karolina spots her, she smiles wide and steps off the stool. “Hey babe,” she greets her with a kiss to her cheek, wrapping her arms around her from behind, completely engulfing Nico in a hug.

“Babe?” she chokes out, strained, Karolina squeezing her even tighter.

“Go along with it, please, he can't take a hint,” she whispers in her ear, her breath hot against her ear but thankfully not heavy with alcohol- Nico's knees give out a little- and she notices the sleazy looking guy sitting near where Karolina was.

“I was just talking about you with Jeremiah here,” Karolina continues louder but still barely audible over the chaos of the pub.

“It's Jordan,” he shouts back, his grin slowly fading the more Karolina wraps her body around Nico's. Nico grows in an equal and opposite pace.

“Of course, Jason. Anyway, this is my girlfriend, Nico. You know, the one I was talking to you about?”

“Yeah,” he says slowly, and Nico can truly see the gears rotate in his brain, and he tugs his collar. To his credit, he takes it in pretty quickly, Karolina leaving another kiss to Nico's cheek nailing the coffin shut, and as soon as he does, he tries to leave. “Yeah, no, I think-- my friend is calling me, it was nice meeting you.”

“You too!” Karolina calls after him cheerily, Nico sending him off with a bitchy little twitch of her fingers.

As soon as he's gone Karolina slumps back in her seat with a groan, Nico grins. “Jesus, how bad was he that you noticed?”

“Uh? Not that bad, just very fucking oblivious to the fact he _really_ wasn’t my type. I swear, straight boys don't have a clue.”

“They're not the only ones,” she mutters under her breath.

“Uh?” Karolina tilts her head, looking at her curiously.

“Nothing,” she shakes it off, “Let me be a good girlfriend and buy you a drink.”

(She ignores the spike of endorphins she feels as she refers to Karolina as her girlfriend.)

Karolina laughs, “Tell you what, if you can get the bartender attention, I'll buy it for you.”

She does succeed in getting the bartender attention- a burly old man who clearly doesn’t like the crowd of out of towners he's currently serving, but appears also glad to have the business- and at the same time, pulls off slipping a twenty to him before Karolina can manage to. Karolina rolls her eyes, but lifts her drink in thanks.

As she wraps her lips against the straw, her eyes fall to Karolina's lips before she can catch herself, but the damage is done- pretty pink lips, so kissable, probably soft and... and Karolina has caught her watching. She takes a gulp of her beer, regretting having not chosen something stronger.

“You alright?”

“Uh?”

“You've gotten very red all of the sudden. Do you want to get out of here?”

She thinks of how those words sound out of context, how, to anyone else listening, they're a couple of girls in love with each other, and they'd be half right. She wants to make them right. _This is a bad idea._ This is a very bad idea. This is the worst idea Nico has ever had.

“Sure.”

**

They start walking back to their hotel. The night is clearer than it could ever be in a city, and she puts that in her mental bullet list of things she likes about road trips, it's quite short, but she still has another two days to cross out any other she has come up with. But starlit nights, those make her list. They're on top actually, right next to Karolina's singing.

It's so damned romantic, Nico almost lets herself feel the hope stirring in her chest.

“I kinda wished we could have seen Alex dance,” Karolina says.

“Oh, I have. You didn’t miss out on much.”

Karolina laughs, shoving her a bit. “Don't be mean.”

“It's not mean if it's true.”

“So... that means you two have made up?”

“Sure,” she shrugs with one shoulder.

“You know, you never told me why you guys broke up. Like the last final one,” Karolina muses out loud, looking up at the sky.

 _Because I realized I loved you,_ Nico wants to answer, _and it was cruel to keep it going with Alex after that._

“Neither did you when you broke up with Xavin,” she counters.

Karolina huffs, rolling her eyes. “God Nico, why do you always do this?”

“What?”

“You never say what you mean, never answer a question straight and then you pull away.”

“I don’t know what you're talking about,” she feigns ignorance, but it seems to be the wrong call, because that pisses off Karolina even more.

“Yes, you do! Every time! Nico you know you can talk to me.”

Nico's laugh is bitter, and would have sounded downright cruel if not for the haunted look of it. “Not about this.”

“Why?” Karolina presses on, grabbing her arm in a tight grip.

She shakes her off. “I just-- I just can't okay? Leave it alone.”

“I will not! You're my friend.”

“Am I?”

“What?”

Nico had always been good at keeping an iron grip on her desires.

It was a Minoru thing, probably, because she can't remember one instance where she had heard her mother voice out any of hers, or her father- or maybe she shouldn't include him, because after all he didn’t voice them but acted on them irresponsibly nonetheless. Or maybe she should. Because her whole life she had been afraid she was too much like her mother, when maybe the truth is that her father is the one she takes after.

Maybe that's why she steps on her tip toes, grips the front of Karolina shirt and clashes their lips together.

It lasts less than three seconds before Karolina pushes her away, Nico realizing her mistake the moment she doesn’t feel Karolina's lips moving against hers. Karolina who's looking at her as if she had grown two heads. Karolina who hadn’t kissed her back. Karolina who doesn’t love her back. Karolina who's shaking in silent anger or disgust or revulsion, fists closed against her thighs.

“Are you drunk?” she shouts at last.

Nico takes a step away from her, taken aback. “What?”

“You cant just--” Karolina stops herself, hands flaying helplessly around, “You can't just kiss people to make you feel better about yourself Nico!”

She takes another one as if Karolina had just slapped her, her accusation stinging like a punch to the guts. “Wow. Thanks for letting me know what you really think about me, Karolina.”

“This is not a joke!”

“Well, neither am I!” she shouts back.

“What?"

Nico shakes her head. “Forget about it.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I said forget it! I'll sleep in Molly and Gert's room. See you tomorrow,” Nico shakes her head once more, turns away from Karolina and leaves her standing under the most romantic sky, wondering how the fuck you can mess up something so badly.

They say hope is the last to die, and maybe that's true, but if it is it's only because we always manage to die first.

**

**Day 14:**

 

It's tense.

Very much so. 

They haven’t been this wound up since Karolina tried to kiss _her_ , and she was the one to react badly. She's really not liking the irony. Still, she''s not that much worried about it. She knows they'll get over this eventually. If there's one thing she's learnt after all these years, is how she and Karolina are a fixed constant no matter what.

The car drives are a lot louder now- the music pumped up in a vain attempt of drowning out the awkwardness- but also a lot quieter somehow, the silence stretched into a shroud enveloping them even with all the noise coming up from the speakers.

It's a relief everytime they stop and Nico can break out of the group to wander alone and to clear her head.

This time she finds a park, and sits on a bench under the shade of a tree.

Nico isn’t sure who will do it, but she can see a pep talk in her nearest future. It's in the set of Gert's shoulder, in Alex's pitying looks, in Chase tight lipped smiles. She doesn’t know how long she can keep them at bay with her glares.Who knew all of her friends were so invested in her and Karolina as a couple?

(She hopes it's not Gert again, she's way too much on the tough love side, and at the moment she needs to lick her pride not wound it farther.)

Still, she's kind of surprised when out of everyone, it's Molly that ends up doing the honours.

“So,” she says as she sits near her on the bench, “How did you fuck up?”

Nico scrunches up her nose. “Should I be offended you're asking _me_ this? It could have been Karolina's fault.”

Molly lifts her shoulders with an apologetic look. “Karolina was not the one sleeping on the floor of our room.”

“Fair.”

“Also, I've asked Karolina the same thing. If that makes you feel any better.”

That startles a laugh out of her. “It does, actually.”

“Okay, so will you tell me what happened?”

“Karolina didn’t say?”

“No, she was super quiet about it. Which is strange because usually she's the one who treats me the more like an adult and not your collective kid sister.”

“You _are_ our collective kid sister, though.”

Molly slaps her shoulder. It kinda hurts. Nico rubs the spot with an offended look.

“So, you wanna tell me?”

Nico sighs, slumping even further down the bench. “I fucked up.”

“I got that part. But how?”

“I kissed her.”

Molly gasps, a hand on her chest. “Without her consent?”

She hesitates, and Molly catches her. “That's a yes.”

“Don't tell Gert, I can't have another discussion about consent with her.”

“Yeah, yeah. I'm assuming she didn’t like the kiss?”

“Yes.”

“And?”

Nico shrugs again. “And nothing. I was right. She doesn’t love me back, and she doesn’t want anything to do with me.”

“Did she tell you that?”

She hesitates again, until she cracks under Molly's stare. “No.”

Molly stays quiet for a bit, looking up at the tree's leaves moving with the wind. When she speaks up, it's a softer reprimand than the one Nico expected.

“You're very smart Nico, but I'm afraid not even you know how to read minds. And I think Karolina can't too, so she must feel just as confused about this as you. And in way too many movies the couple stays apart until the very end because of some stupid misunderstanding, and that's very dumb. Don’t you think?”

Nico sighs. “Yeah.”

“Do you want to know what she said to me?”

“Well, yeah.”

“Then you'll have to ask her.”

Nico chuckles. Her friends seem to have only one advice for her.

“What? Talking is good. Gert always says so.”

She goes to stand up, but Nico stops her.

She looks at Molly properly for the first time in what feels like forever.She finds herself smiling fondly, looking at the girl Molly had grown to be. Her posture is all different, it's more confident, more sure of herself, maybe she'd finally grown into her growth spurts, or maybe it's the dancing or maybe something else entirely, but she's standing tall and beautiful.

It makes her proud.

“When did you grow up so much?”

“While y'all were too busy with your love dramas to pay attentionto me,” Molly laughs as she drawls her answer out.

As she goes to stand up, Nico stands with her and stops her from going too further away. “You might want to take your own advice and talk to that Klara.”

“Of course, I'm not the emotionally constipated one out of the two of us,” Molly smiles and hugs her quickly.

(That still feels the same as always.)

“And I also have to do my sisterly duties of arm flexes and intimidation, so bring her around.”

“Yeah, no. We're not doing that. I'm not siccing either Chase or you on Klara, she's too sweet. You'd scare her off.”

Nico laughs.

**

She finds Gert waiting for her at the van.

“Yo,” she greets her, “Did you know your sister is very emotionally self aware?”

Gert smirks, “Yeah, she's like a fully grown member of society, now. I'm so proud.”

“Who knew?”

“They grow up so fast.”

“We might never catch up.”

“So that means you don’t need my lecture?”

She starts to laugh when she spots Karolina coming from behind the van. She stops. Karolina's eyes seem slightly puffy and red from what she can see before she trains them on the ground. Nico feels like shit. She gets into the van quietly.

“Or maybe you do...”

Nico does not like the glint in Gert's eyes.

**

Chase: “You know what I've always wanted to do? Punch someone and shout 'that's my wife, you prick!'”

Gert: “If that's your way of proposing, darling, I'm leaving you.”

“Babe...”

**

Her plan to avoid any and every interaction with Karolina before she knows what to say to her- mostly, how to say it without her feelings bursting through her mouth in a tragic display of no self control- goes down the drain in the moment Gert announces that they'll make one last stop before making it to L.A. because of new circumstances.

She doesn’t have to ask what those circumstances are.

She tries to stick to her plan anyway, but when she asks Gert for her key, she just sends her off with Karolina.

Gert and Molly aren’t the only ones determined to have them talk, though, Karolina puts her arm out, blocking her from going inside their room. “We need to talk about this, Nico.”

She tucks under Karolina's arm. “Do we?”

“Yes!” she follows her inside, closing the door behind her, and Nico feels as trapped as she did back in L.A., “You've been skittish for the whole trip, especially around me, and you won't tell me why, and then you try to kiss me because what's happening with Alex is getting to you.”

“What's happening with Alex?” she asks, genuinely surprised of where Karolina is going with the conversation.

“The girl he brought back from the pub?”

Nico is growing more and more confused by this conversation by the minute, “What girl?”

“The girl! Stop this. It's okay if you're still hung up on him.”

“I'm not?”

“Well then, is it misguided jealousy?”

“What?”

“Because you're not the centre of his affections anymore?”

 _Okay, this is getting ridiculous._ “What?!”

“Listen, I know. I get it,” Karolina sighs, “Alex has always been yours, your confidante, your _person_ or whatever, and you lost that a bit after your break up. But that doesn’t mean you don’t have anyone else.”

Before she can think of what to say, Karolina continues her monologue, her hand brushing up and down her arm. “I just thought... I thought I was your person too, maybe. You've always been mine. I was wrong, apparently.”

And Karolina looks so broken at the thought, Nico can't find it in herself to let her continue think that she's the problem- when it's her, always had been- and she rushes out, “That's not it! Like at all!”

Karolina shrugs her shoulders, dejected, looking away from Nico. “Isn't it?”

Her heart cracks.

Nico sits on the bed, and she's so tired, so damn tired of holding everything back and Karolina is prying and she's so tired. So maybe that's why the next thing that slips out of her mouth is the most honest piece of truth that she has ever had the courage to say.

“When have I ever been anything other than yours?”

Karolina eyes are on her now, piercing her on the spot, tethering the broken pieces of her soul together, “What do you mean?”

“Don't make me say it,” she whispers in her hands.

“What do you mean, Nico?”

“That you're wrong. That me and Alex are fighting about you, always have been, even when we didn’t realize it. That I was wrong when we were sixteen and you're wrong now, that I'm yours and I always have been. That I could wait for you forever, Karolina,” she takes in a heavy breath and looks up, shoving any tears down, almost choking on her next words, “But I don’t know if I could stand it.”

“Nico...”

“This doesn’t mean I won't though, God, what does that say about me?” she lets out a choked out laugh, shuts her eyes because she doesn’t think she can stand to see Karolina's face when she says this.

“You're it for me, Karo, I just didn’t understand it when it mattered, and I'm sorry I rejected you so harshly, and I'm sorry we didn’t ever really talk about it, and I'm sorry I couldn’t just shut up and keep my feelings away from you, because you don’t need that. I'm sorry you moved on, and that you don’t need me anymore. Just like you don’t need me pushing this on you and you just broke up with Julie and... I'm so sorry. But don’t say I'm anything other than yours. Because I am, in any way you'll have me.”

(She's out of breath, and her head is reeling, but it's light as well and it feels good to let it all out after years of keeping it in. Her eyes also sting of unshed tears, but she thinks that's just part of what's included in the whole unrequited love deal.)

She feels a hand on her chin, and she lifts up her head as she finds herself looking up in Karolina's eyes. The cheap neon light shines over her like a halo, and even in situation like these, even in a cheap motel room with neon lights and dusty floors and cheap mattresses, she still takes her breath away.

“You're my first love, Nico,” Karolina says softly with a teary smile, “How do you get over that?”

Then she leans down and kisses her.

She remembers her very first kiss, with Alex, when they were fourteen, and how she thought it was wet and sloppy, but good.

(This is nothing like it.)

Karolina's mouth is soft and warm against hers, the kiss is slow and tender and languid like it's not only their first, but the first of many; Karolina's nose brushes hers as she kneels on the floor to get down to her level, and it's so tender Nico might as well drop dead now.

She shivers, brings her hand to Karolina's hair, brings her closer as she kisses her again, sunlight behind her eyelids, against her fingertips, underneath her skin. Karolina hands travel over her body, going first to her thighs, then to her hips, to the small of her back. Her touch sends shivers down her spine, breaks the kiss to rest her forehead against Karolina's.

Karolina sighs her name like it's a prayer and a plea and a revelation all together, like she can't quite believe this, like she's been waiting for this for as long as Nico has, maybe even longer.

“I wanted to do that for the last two weeks.”

“Really?” She tries to put some more space between them, but can't bear to move more than a few inches away, merely enough so that she can look straight into Karolina's blue eyes. 

Karolina laughs. “Really. Like more than usual, at least.”

Karolina leans down, kissing her again, tenderly at first, and then more heated. She gasps into Karolina's mouth as she slips her tongue in hers, and she lets out a borderline pornographic moan, her hands ending up toying with the hem of Karolina's shirt. She breaks the kiss again. “Should we stop? I feel like we should stop and talk and\-- do you want to stop?”

Karolina lets out a laugh, climbs into her lap with a slow- tortuously so- move, her thighs resting on the bed on either side of hers. Then she lifts her shirt over her head, tossing it over her shoulder. Nico looks into her eyes and sees the certainty of this, of them.

“No,” she whispers, hands barely touching her, “Do you?”

Nico jerks her head in negatives, quivering under her almost-touch, and Karolina descends down on her like a holy spirit.

And then she kisses her again. And again. And again.

**

**Day 0:**

 

Karolina is on her side, curled up against her, her arm brushing up and down her naked back. Nico has never been much of a believer, but she thinks this is what heaven feels like.

“You were,” she whispers.

“Uh?”

“You're the reason I broke up with Xavin. And Julie.”

Nico smiles. “That's funny.”

“Is it?"

“You're the reason I broke up with Alex. And Victor. And Topher.”

Karolina laughs. “We were hopeless, weren’t we?”

Nico turns in Karolina's arms, resting her forehead against hers, pecking her lips once and then another time and another- there's strength in threes and Karolina's lips are soft and Nico is still amazed by the fact she's allowed to do that. She echoes the words Gert said to her what feels like so long ago.

“I'd say we're lucky.”

Nico kisses her once more, slow and languid and sweet, until she's smiling too much too keep it up. She breaks it off with a laugh, brings Karolina as close to her as physically possible.

“You're a pretty hard person to move on from, Karolina Dean.”

“I could say the same thing about you, Nico Minoru.”

They almost slip into sleep, when she hears Karolina giggling.

“What's so funny?”

Karolina laughs some more, happy and disbelieving. “You were flirting with me!”

Nico buries her nose in her hair, leaves one, two kisses against the back of her neck. “Well, had been for the last two years. But thanks for noticing now, I guess.”

“I thought I was-- I dunno, projecting or something.”

Nico smirks, even though she knows Karolina can't see it. “You're so dumb. But you were. This is all a dream.”

“Oh. That must be why.”

“Why what?”

“Why I am so happy.”

“Uh,” she turns Karolina in her arms, pushes her on her back until she can hover over her, hair cascading like a curtain over her face. She smiles down at her.

“What?” Karolina asks, giggling once more.

“That explains why _I_ am so happy.”

Karolina plays along, twisting a lock of Nico's hair. “And why is that?”

“Because you are.”

Karolina hooks an arm behind Nico's neck, bringing their lips together. “Is it too soon for eloping?”

“Ask me again tomorrow. Or in three years.”

“Okay. But I think I could convince you.”

“I'm sure you could.”

“I will marry you, Nico Minoru.”

“I'll hold you to that.”

**

**Day 1:**

 

They're back in L.A. and at the end of their trip- she's kind of _sad_ it's over, but it's probably just the Stockholm Syndrome talking- but for the first time in her life, Nico doesn’t feel trapped by the city, doesn’t feel like she needs to run and hide from it and her parents' shadows.

It may have something to do about with the way Karolina grips her hand in hers, something to do about the innocent kisses she drops to her lips without a second thought, something to do about how happy she feels.

As it's Pride's kids tradition, they spend the 4th at the Pacific Park, but this time when Karolina begs her to go with her on the ferris wheel, she can't do anything but follow her, bribed by the prospective of kisses.

And it's beautiful.

The night is clear, or as clear as the smog of L.A. lets it be, and Nico could count stars and constellations if she so wanted, could stare up at the firmament or watch the slowly dwarfing people on the ground, or watch the skyline. 

Instead she finds herself watching Karolina, who has the most beautiful smile on her face as she watches the first fireworks go off in the distance, as she's being lit in reds and purples and greens, a galaxy on her skin- and she's reminded of that mural and that glowing girl and how she could never compare to the beauty that is Karolina Dean staring up at the night sky, moonlight laced in her hair.

It's beautiful, and really, really terrifying.

(She hopes it doesn’t show on her face, but she underestimated Karolina's ability of reading her like an open book.)

“How did I not know you were afraid of heights?” she asks, not looking away from the fireworks.

“Because I'm not!” she shakes her head in denial, but that somehow makes the butterflies in her stomach worse. Another burst of noise and flash of coloured lights.

Karolina smirks as she drawls out, “Sure, that's why you're gripping the bar so hard you're leaving indents.”

“Fuck, am I?” she releases her grip immediately, looking at where her hands were.

“Made you look. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“It's fine, I'm fine. And I didn’t want to spoil the fireworks for you. I guess people just never assume because of all this,” Nico says, gesturing with a hand to her kind of toned down but still very heavy make up and all black outfit, “I can't really blame them.”

That makes Karolina's gaze snap back to her in a heartbeat. They lock eyes, and Nico sees a fire in them that could burn down empires, entire civilizations, and still have some left to keep her warm.

“You're more than that.”

And she says it with such fierceness, and so unlike herself that Nico is taken aback by it. It's like Karolina's ready to fight anyone about this, as if she can't even tolerate to let that line of thought stand for more than a second. She says it like it's an argument. Maybe it is.

“And you couldn't spoil anything for me if you tried,” she continues, taking her hand in hers.

“No?”

Karolina leans into her, kissing her lingering and tender. “No.”

Nico's cheeks heat up under Karolina's careful scrutiny. She doesn’t care. She leans in once more, carding her fingers in Karolina's blonde hair. Another explosion makes her jump startled back, the cart swinging precariously and she's back to gripping the bar with all of her strength. Karolina is laughing but she offers her hand to hold, and Nico doesn’t care.

She's so in love it should be illegal.

** 

**Day 1098:**

 

“Did you ever think we'd end up here?” she asks, as she fidgets with the lapels of her jacket, toying with the stitches engraved there.

“Never doubted it once,” Karolina answers her, certain and sure and strong.

“Really?” she can't keep the surprise out of her voice, “Not even when we were kids?”

“Not even then.”

She rubs the ring on her finger. “You don’t think it's too soon, right?”

Karolina chuckles. “No. Too late, maybe.”

“Yeah?”

“To be honest, I'm a hundred percent sure that if Chase hadn’t asked, Gert would have done it herself.”

“That's true,” she hums, fiddles a bit with the buttons lining up the start of her sleeve- they're pointless, really, and she has yet to figure out why exactly they are there.

Karolina slaps her hands away. “Stop fidgeting with your jacket, you look handsome.”

“Yeah?” she leans in for a small peck and is met halfway, loving how even in her dizzying heels Karolina kind of towers over her still. “Should I wear a tux more often?”

Karolina hums against her lips. “Yes.”

“You look stunning, by the way.”

And she does.

In her pink dress, glittering in star motifs- that compliments the moon thing she has going on on her own suit, probably Gert's doing but for once she won't complain about her tampering- strappy and open on the back, that plunges into an almost too low neckline, she could outshine the bride in Nico's opinion.

(She had wanted to tear it off of her the moment she saw Karolina in it.)

“Thank you. I like how we match.”

Nico smiles, before indulging in another kiss, slower this time. “So do I.”

Karolina lets out a laugh, and it rumbles against her lips, her hands, her ribcage. “Of course you do, you softy. But I know what you're doing, and you'll do great. I'm sure that when Chase asked you to be his best woman, he knew you'd do an amazing job.”

“I thought he asked me because Alex couldn’t and Gert had already chosen you as hers.”

Karolina smirks. “That too.”

Nico wants to kiss the smugness off her lips. She takes her hand instead, watches the glint of their rings in the pink and purples of dawn. “We're waking up later for ours, though.”

“Definitely.”

“Do you think Gert and Chase would be mad if we sneaked off to elope real quick?”

“No. But Molly might be. She can't wait to be your best woman, and you wouldn’t crush her dreams like that, would you?”

“Fine.”

“Ready?” Karolina asks as she smiles down at her, softly this time.

“Lets go.”

**Author's Note:**

> Another fic, another au. I may have a problem, but I don't care enough to go get it fixed, so. Some things just beg to be written. Hope you had as much fun reading it as I have writing it, and thanks in advance for any kudos or comments, they make my day. See you next time.


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